he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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