I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
