i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
