No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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