didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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