Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm too high and old for this...
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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