Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
