I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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