It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
