Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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