Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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