My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
