she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Randomize
