I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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