I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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