Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
