in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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