Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
