At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize