The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
