are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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