There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
it's like iHOP with fire
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
