Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
