Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
its liver damage thursday
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
