I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
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