I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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