are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
