have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
