I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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