I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
