her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
