Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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