So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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