Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
