I skipped work to stalk him.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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