She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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