i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
