you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
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I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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