I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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