I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
