Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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