I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
