I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
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