Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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