Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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