You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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