those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
