I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
