He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
