how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
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