Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize