She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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