Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
