i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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