There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
