we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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