dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
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