I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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