Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
She just used a chaser for red wine.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
