Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
