my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
