OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
